Tips for Surviving Tantrums Without Losing Your Cool

21 de October de 2024

Understanding temper tantrums

It is normal for children to express their emotions through tantrums. These episodes can be challenging for parents, but it is important to understand that they are a natural part of child development. Tantrums usually occur between 1 and 3 years of age and may be the result of frustration, exhaustion or lack of effective communication skills.

Tantrums are often a sign that your child is going through a phase of emotional and psychological growth. Young children often do not yet have the cognitive and emotional tools to handle stressful situations in a more mature way. Therefore, it is crucial for parents to know how to handle these moments effectively.

Understanding the root causes of tantrums is the first step in managing them. By identifying the causes, parents can intervene more effectively and help their children develop healthy emotional skills.

At Green Tree, your English nursery, we practice respectful parenting. Our team of caregivers are committed to caring for the emotional, psychological and physical well-being of all children with tenderness and attention.

1. Keep calm

This is one of the most important pieces of advice. Staying calm in the midst of a tantrum can be difficult, but it is essential. Children are extremely perceptive and can detect stress or frustration in their parents, which can intensify their own discomfort.

If you feel very overwhelmed, try taking deep breaths and counting to ten. Sometimes you need a few seconds to regain your composure before addressing the situation. It also helps to remember that the tantrum is temporary and will pass.

Another useful technique is to avoid punishment. Instead, try to show empathy. Calmly ask your child what is bothering them and make sure they feel you understand their frustration. This can help de-escalate the situation quickly.

2. Set clear boundaries

Children need clear boundaries to feel safe. Setting clear rules and expectations before a tantrum occurs can help prevent tantrums. For example, if you are in a shop and your child wants a toy, explain before you go in that you are not buying toys today.

Boundaries should not only be clear, but also consistent. If you give in once, it will be harder to maintain those limits in the future. Be consistent with your rules and expectations so your child knows exactly what to expect.

This doesn’t mean you need to be inflexible. Adaptability is important. If you see a situation getting out of control, it’s best to step back and re-evaluate your expectations and strategies. This is not giving in, but being pragmatic.

3. Offer options

Tantrums often stem from frustration and a sense of lack of control. Offering choices can help your child feel empowered and less frustrated. For example, instead of imposing a single choice for dinner, offer two healthy alternatives.

With limited choices, children feel they have some control over the situation, which can reduce the likelihood of a tantrum. However, it is important that the choices are viable and do not infringe on your previously established limits.

An effective tactic is to use positive statements along with the options. For example, instead of saying ‘You can’t do that’, try saying ‘You can choose between this or that’. This more positive approach can make your child feel heard and respected.

4. Pay attention to basic needs

Many tantrums are the result of unmet basic needs such as hunger, tiredness or overstimulation. Make sure these needs are met to minimise the likelihood of a tantrum. A well-fed and well-rested child is less likely to lose control.

Establishing a stable daily routine can help significantly. Routines provide structure and predictability, which can reduce stress for you and your child. Include regular times for meals, sleep and play.

If you see your child starting to have a tantrum, ask yourself if he or she has a basic unmet need. Sometimes simply offering a snack or quiet time can be enough to calm the situation.

5. Use distraction and redirection

Distraction can be a powerful tool to prevent a tantrum from escalating. If you notice that your child is about to have a tantrum, try redirecting their attention to another activity. This can be as simple as starting a game or singing a favourite song.

Redirection is also effective. If your child is insisting on something they can’t have, redirect their attention to something they can do. For example, if he wants a toy you won’t buy, direct him to an activity he can participate in right away.

It is important to be creative with distraction and redirection. Sometimes you need to find clever ways to get your child’s attention. Try different techniques until you find the one that works best for both of you.

Conclusion: Effective strategies for surviving tantrums

Surviving tantrums is no easy task, but with patience and effective strategies, you can help your child manage their emotions. Stay calm, set clear boundaries, offer choices, meet their basic needs and use distraction and redirection to soothe these challenging moments.

At Green Tree, we promote the full development of each child through play, supporting their emotional, physical, spiritual and intellectual well-being.

How do I differentiate a normal tantrum from a more serious problem?

It is important to look at the frequency and intensity of tantrums. If your child has daily tantrums that go on for more than 30 minutes and do not respond to any kind of intervention, it may be time to consult a specialist. In addition, if the tantrums significantly interfere with your child’s daily life or well-being, this may also be a sign of a major concern.

What should I do if I have a tantrum in public?

Public tantrums can be particularly stressful due to social pressure. In these cases, stay calm and try to find a quiet place where you can handle the situation without so many distractions or prying eyes. If possible, take your child to a more private place and follow the same strategies you would use at home: stay calm, show empathy and try to distract or redirect their attention.